So, it’s Valentine’s Day. Every year, I’m always surprised at the reaction this day elicits from people. And every year, I’m always like, “Whaaaaat? just happened there…” And every year, I tell myself that it’s just Valentine’s Day and that’s how people get, and la la la. I don’t claim to be a relationship (or non-relationship) expert, but in my humble opinion, Valentine’s Day is the reason people die prematurely. Don’t understand what I mean? Think I’m being a little overdramatic? If you’re single – both men and women, but women seem to take this day harder – this day… I’m not done yet.
Posts Tagged: thoughts
“Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers.” – Rainer Maria Rilke Food for thought.
It seems I’m trying to do a lot of proving these days. “Bear and endure,” Ovid once wrote. “This sorrow will one day prove to be for your good.” I wonder if Ovid was trying to lose weight when he wrote that. It’s not just that, though. I struggle to prove myself every day, no matter the task. I’m trying to prove myself at work. I’m trying to prove to myself that I will run this marathon. I’m trying to prove to myself that, above all, I’m worthy. And really, it all just comes down to belief. For a long… I’m not done yet.
Beattie writes today about planting, of all things. She writes about how she planted some things, and as they grew, she had to replant them, but worried that all the shifting may have been bad for the plants. But what she discovered was that it helped the plants – the roots – take a stronger hold. It helped them to survive. In the same way, I feel like the month of June has been a series of uprooting events. Even when I haven’t done anything. I feel like maybe soon, it will all settle down, that I’ll be able to… I’m not done yet.
Today, I felt pretty sorry for myself. I was thinking of things in the past, about how in relationships I’ve been rather unlucky or unwilling, about how I keep to myself, because sometimes it’s easier than being in an awkward situation. About how there are those who love me but I have a hard time reciprocating their feelings. About how the people I chose to love didn’t reciprocate mine. About how I may have unrealistic expectations in life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. About how I keep waiting for magical moments of clarity, but they never show up. About… I’m not done yet.