Today’s post was supposed to be about how family members can impede the process of letting go, but I don’t think I quite have that issue, so instead I’d like to talk about this subject: I’m in my twenties. And my body feels old. I creak and crack and hurt. It seems like a new thing to me, as if never in my life have I felt sore. I know this isn’t true, but in my mind’s eye I’m pretty sure I’m dragging around like I’m 80. It could be, as a friend of mine suggested, that (while I AM… I’m not done yet.
Posts Tagged: stress
I don’t have much to write about tonight. The topic is supposed to be “being who you are” but I’m sort of in a slump since I’m stressing over taxes and all the good stuff adults never told you about when you were 6. So, I’m someone who stresses over taxes. At least we’re getting somewhere. I’m leaving town in a week and it cannot come soon enough. I need a break from the routine, and the stressing, and the 4am alarms. (Most especially the 4am alarms. It makes me so sad.) I need some inspiration to write more inspired… I’m not done yet.
“How are you feeling?” Do you ever notice that, when you go to the doctor’s office or something similar, that you have to pick out which feeling you most feel like? Right now, I don’t know what I’m feeling – at least, I have trouble identifying the emotion that’s coming with it – but it involves extreme tension like, everywhere. Part of this is due to the at least 2.5 hours of exercise I did yesterday (quite accidentally). Part of this is everyday stress. Part of this is overload on stress. Part of this is that I’m PMSing and I’d… I’m not done yet.
This Friday evening brings us back to acceptance. Once you start to accept things, you can heal from them. But it’s not only that, it’s being grateful for the things you’ve come to accept. And that, of course, is HARD. So right now, I’m going to work on being grateful, and acceptance. Here are some things I’ve already accepted: – I spent an exorbitant amount of money at Target this evening. I accept this because my credit cards really need more debt loaded onto them. -I ate completely unhealthy fast food tonight. I accept this because it was fucking delicious…. I’m not done yet.
Day 7: I’m exhausted, emotionally wrung dry from head to toe. Usually, on Saturdays, this is the case. I work a full day (9 – close, whenever close is); by the time I come home, I have absolutely no interest in going out. All I want to do is be by myself and decompress. To say that my job stresses me out is an understatement. I work for a distribution company and I’m doubly stressed on Saturdays because I’m in charge the entire day. But even before I walk in the door, I start to feel the weight. I think… I’m not done yet.