Posts Tagged: i swear too much

RAWR. Grumble. sigh.

So. I went to a vascular specialist today who thinks that, again, my leg issue is compartment syndrome. Let’s look at the recap of this, which would probably be easier to explain via flowchart, but I’m not gonna make one of those. So we have the running pain, which led to the PT/injury screen visit, which led to no running, which led to the first mention of compartment syndrome, which led to my doctor visit, who said it wasn’t compartment syndrome, just lymphedema. GOOD OL’ LYMPHEDEMA. But I – because in my spare time, I’m also a doctor – refused… I’m not done yet.

10-Hour Saturdays Blow.

I am currently sitting on my favorite comfy couch after a very long day. Here’s what I did: Ran around my office like a crazy. Multitasked like a bitch. (How, I wonder, does a bitch multitask?) Dropped an f-bomb in earshot of a 6-year-old because I didn’t realize I was on speakerphone. Hoped for a better Monday. And – the highlight – bought a ticket to see Ray LaMontagne at The Chicago Theatre in December. Soon, I will be drinking this day and other sorrows away (in the company of another person, so I think that’s okay. …Right?). Have a… I’m not done yet.

Bitchy Pants.

My left shoulder blade muscle has decided to wrench itself into a painful state, so I am not in a pleasant mood right now. I got into a fight with my bio-mom today, and now I feel like an asshole. It’s probably because sometimes I am an asshole. It’s also because she pointed out that I gained some weight. To which I responded by emotionally eating. Fuck my life. And fuck this shoulder thing, too. I think it should be that the more you exercise, the better your body feels and holds up. Maybe it IS that, but with the… I’m not done yet.

Surrender

According to Beattie, surrendering to the Powers that Be is how we become empowered. Still, I have a hard time believing that, fully: I might be biased but part of me views that as an out. Maybe it’s more a sense of accepting where you’re at, and building from there. Or finding a way to deal with what you’ve been dealt. I have no idea; I’m not very smart on these matters. But I’m trying to figure it out, especially when I’ve had a today like today. Today was rough. Like,┬árough. As in… I got maybe an hour of sleep,… I’m not done yet.