Posts Tagged: groom

Friday, Friday. Fun fun fun fun.

It’s the day before my friend’s wedding and we are all running around separately, trying to get things accomplished. I’ve been paired up with one of the groomsmen, driving around St. Louis in his F150 as we marvel at the sights: “I think I just saw a guy smoking a crack pipe.” Tonight is the rehearsal dinner, and for whatever reason, I’ve elected not to shower until then. Bad choice, Amanda, as it’s 93 degrees and rising. Keeps things interesting, I suppose. Have a great day, everyone!

Meet Me in St. Louis

I’m in St. Louis at the moment, waiting for my friend to complete her spray tan; she’s getting married on Saturday. It is the first of my ‘moral support’ tasks. So far, so good. I’ve come to the conclusion that, in the hour I’ve been in this town, if I ever get married, I’m eloping. Or destination-wedding-ing that shit. Too much stress. I’ve officially made myself the lead executive in a job I’d like to call, “making sure friend’s husband-to-be gets all of the things he has to do”. I think this is one of those male-female divide things. I… I’m not done yet.

And then I couldn’t fit into my bridesmaid’s dress.

Tonight, I ended the standstill I had going with trying on my bridesmaid’s dress. I have had the dress for about a month. I didn’t go to get it altered. Why? Because I knew I was fat, that’s why. On top of swearing too much, I also eat too much. Conversely, sometimes I forget to eat. In health speak, this equates to a giant frowny face that means “this is why you’re fat.” If I were trying to be positive, I would say, “Well, Amanda, you’re not obese! You have boobs! You sometimes work out! And every now and then… I’m not done yet.