Posts Tagged: fear

RAWR. Grumble. sigh.

So. I went to a vascular specialist today who thinks that, again, my leg issue is compartment syndrome. Let’s look at the recap of this, which would probably be easier to explain via flowchart, but I’m not gonna make one of those. So we have the running pain, which led to the PT/injury screen visit, which led to no running, which led to the first mention of compartment syndrome, which led to my doctor visit, who said it wasn’t compartment syndrome, just lymphedema. GOOD OL’ LYMPHEDEMA. But I – because in my spare time, I’m also a doctor – refused… I’m not done yet.

Oh, The Excitement!

A couple of things have taken place since I last wrote: 1) I am now over 10,000 views on this, my lovely blog. To everyone who has read it in the past 2.25 years that it’s been in existence (but, really, the past 11 months that I’ve worked on it), I thank you. 2) Last night (I assume because I tagged “election”) I got 187 page views in one night. I was aiming to break the previous record (167 last November, a stat I still don’t get… 167 random people decided to visit my blog, which wasn’t really being written… I’m not done yet.

‘Twas The Night Before The Marathon…

…and all through the house, I’ve been running around like a fucking crazy. I actually only got home from work about an hour ago; I was supposed to leave there at 2:30, and due to a shitstorm of shit, left at 6. I stopped and got groceries (my dinner: brown rice pasta with tomato and basil sauce; my breakfast tomorrow morning: bagels with peanut butter, greek yogurt, and maybe a granola bar). The plan is to meet one of my running buddies at about 5am on the El, chill downtown for a bit, get into the corral at 7:45, and… I’m not done yet.

Fear: Not A Movie Starring Mark Wahlberg.

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” – William James As I alluded to yesterday, I have been in conflict… with myself. I’ve been feeling bucket-loads of emotions – and I can’t even blame it on PMS! Most of it is a general sense of fear, but of what I really don’t know. I think my mind, every now and then on the verge of empowerment, begins to churn out platitudes of negativity. I need my own cheerleader, like Rob Schneider… I’m not done yet.

Adventures in Running: The Return

Today is May 15. I have not run since April 19, when I achieved my fastest mile to date: an 11:20 mile. I began training for the Chicago Marathon today with fear and trepidation for a couple of reasons. 1) I have not run in almost a month. 2) I requested to be put in a somewhat faster training group (instead of running 3-4 minutes and walking for 2, I am now doing 5/1s). 3) I have not run in almost a month. 4) The 5/1 training schedule – as well as the marathon training schedule – is a bit… I’m not done yet.