Not in the way most people would, I don’t think. The marathon is about 10 days away. A week and a half. And I haven’t had the panicked dreams. Really, my dreams are fucked up enough that I don’t need to dream about this, too. I just want it to go smoothly. I want to do well. I want to finish before the buzzer. Is there a buzzer? I DON’T KNOW. I’m thinking about doing more yoga; last night I did a yoga class which clearly demonstrated to me that – even when I think my muscles are doing well… I’m not done yet.
Posts Tagged: exercise
Ok, maybe not stories. Just maybe little tidbits related to this one BIG BIT OF NEWS. All day today, I’ve been feeling like shit. Actually, I’ve been feeling insurmountably tired for the past couple of days, and today, it really got to me. I spent 5 hours of an eight point five hour workday saying, “I don’t feel good,” and the other 3.5 hours thinking, “I really don’t feel good.” Of course, there are always things to do: Today, for example, I left work, got keys made, bought things for my office, came back home intending to take a nap… I’m not done yet.
Upon reflecting about yesterday’s 20-miler, I became increasingly concerned that I would not finish the marathon in the time allotted. I asked my dad, who ran the marathon sometime in the late 80s, if I would still get a medal if I was not an official finisher. He said he wasn’t sure, but what mattered was that I ran it, not that I got a medal. I explained that that was all well and fine and everything, but… if I was running the damn thing, I wanted a medal. He said something to the effect that the medal wasn’t important,… I’m not done yet.
Unfortunately, this post will be short because it is late, and I am very tired. And I can barely move. Except I have been moving. And now I don’t want to do it anymore. The run was not all that I wanted it to be. I will write about that more tomorrow, when every part of my brain is not mush. And by brain I meant body. But that’s ok because the brain is part of the body. I think. It depends on who you ask. Goodnight, all.
Tonight, after hours – well, really, days – of agonizing over my ability to run, I just got out there and did something. I was supposed to run for an hour. I ran for 33 minutes, but was out for longer, and my average pace was 14:21/mile. I stopped once to stretch. I was going to stop once I reached my block. I went past it. I did not do my absolute best, but I have to get through this challenge. And tonight, that was just getting out the door. That was saying, “I don’t want to do this, not… I’m not done yet.