Many days ago, I vowed to write in this blog (read: journal-ly thing for 20-somethings). I did, for the most part… there were a couple of days I unintentionally skipped. It turns out that, although you want things to happen in a given year … well, sometimes they don’t. And that’s okay. I think the number one remark I got from people on this was, “You’re so funny!” (I like that, and I’ll continue to be.) I think the number two remark was, “I don’t think you swear too much.” (Shut the fuck up, bitches.) At about the middle of… I’m not done yet.
Posts Tagged: beattie
In today’s post, Beattie asks: “Did you have a bad day but dealt effectively with it?” Sure. I had a bag of chips and reese’s pieces. “Did you practice gratitude or acceptance?” I was much more patient with my mom when I visited her today than I have been as of late. The good: She didn’t call me fat. The bad: She said I could do some “stomach exercises.” “Did you take a risk, own your power, set a boundary?” I took a nap. I owned sleep! “Did you take responsibility for yourself in a way that you might not… I’m not done yet.
Tonight, I did a speed workout that consisted of three continuous-run miles with three-minute breaks in between each. One of my coach friends ran with me and another friend, encouraging us along the way. She remarked, “You look like you’ve gotten stronger.” “Have I?” I said. “Yeah with continuous running… you just seem better.” “Oh, I have no way of really knowing,” I said. “And believe me, I’m only running continuously because I have to.” “Well,” she said, “then you have to all the time.” The words really struck me, not only because they were inspiring me at that time,… I’m not done yet.
Beattie writes about the “in-between” space today; that feeling when you’re trying to let go of what you need to let go of, but everything feels so empty. It’s like moving to a new place – all your stuff is there, but it’s different and unfamiliar. Or, sugar-free chocolate. It looks like the chocolate you used to know, but… really, not. Everything takes time… which – even the most patient of us know – is aggravating. I think I’ve gotten a lot better at managing some of my feelings, but every now and then something will flare up for me…. I’m not done yet.
Today, Beattie writes about one of the ironies about letting go. Let’s say you acknowledge that there’s something you really want or need. Let’s say that whatever this is has been something that, in the past, you said you didn’t need or want. But now, you’re feeling better, and you’re like, “GIVE ME THAT I WANT THAT.” And then it doesn’t happen. And you wait. And you wait. And you wait. And spring turns to summer, which turns to fall which turns to winter, and you think maybe for Christmas, Santa will bring you your wish. Or Jesus. Or it’ll… I’m not done yet.