Yesterday, I wrote about taking a step back when things become too overwhelming. And then I stopped writing and stopped obsessing, but only a little. That is to say, I took a deep breath, and dropped expectations for the moment … but continued to worry. Lately, I’ve been staying up way past my bedtime, worrying about anything and everything. (Someday, I might take my own advice.) I keep repeating in my head, “accept the things you cannot change… but fuck that!” Why shouldn’t you push? Why should you accept? Is acceptance a sign of maturity? Does it mean I haven’t? Eh…. I’m not done yet.
Posts Tagged: acceptance
No, Brit-Brits, not the song. I read the wrong date again and so I skipped one and yadda yadda and obviously I’m handling it a bit better than the last time I did it (breath) obviously. So today was supposed to be about deadlines (I just want to say one thing here, and that is that I DO meet deadlines. I just procrastinate a lot.), and yesterday was supposed to be about accepting change. “…change is inevitable, and desirable,” Beattie writes. I think I have a resistance to it, but I’m going to try and let that guard down and… I’m not done yet.
I had the strangest dream last night. It didn’t make a lot of sense, but at one point I remember having trouble seeing and so I put my glasses on – except they weren’t mine and I still couldn’t see very well. When I went to look in the mirror, my eyes were clouded over and my pupils were a pinkish color. It was disturbing, to say the least. I generally dream in color and I generally remember my dreams. Some linger more than others. I had a friend ask me recently if I write my dreams down. The answer… I’m not done yet.
Dylan Thomas once wrote, “Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” I don’t know much about Thomas, but I’ve always respected this poem. I’ve noticed a certain complacency around and about me as of late, and I’m getting ready to rage against it. Of course, when Thomas wrote this, he was speaking of death – an inevitable fact, it was a certainty that while you could delay it, it would happen. I don’t want to reach the same conclusion with situations in my life that can be avoided. Sometimes, situations get you down and sometimes they defeat you. The… I’m not done yet.
April 2 is supposed to be about facing your guilt and shame; perhaps Beattie had a sense of humor when she placed this topic the day after April Fool’s. Anyway, the only thing I currently feel guilt and shame about is the fact that I ALMOST! forgot to write a blog post tonight. I dragged myself out of bed to write these pointless words that you are now reading. It’s a good thing that I can type well, albeit with incorrectly placed fingers, because I can barely see (did I mention I dragged myself out of bed?). Nevertheless, everyone faces… I’m not done yet.