You can’t carry it with you.

“Leave all your love and your longing behind. You can’t carry it with you if you want to survive.” – Florence + The Machine

Day 43. Beattie writes about how, essentially, you get by with a little help from your friends. (As if I’m not quoting enough.) But sometimes, those friendships/relationships can be toxic. That is to say, sometimes we have our own addictions. Sometimes, we are addicted to helping others through theirs. Sometimes, we pay close attention to others in order to mask our own pain.

I know this game all too well, unfortunately.

The biggest lesson of today? Leaving people behind. If they don’t want to change, you can’t make them. And it’s not so much a “negative” thing; rather, it’s the opposite. It’s being positive for yourself – it’s doing something for yourself – if you need to go, even if it means going alone, then by all means… run. And if they meet up with you later, cool. And if they don’t, then it requires some understanding: 1) you don’t have to go back to save them (I still need to learn this. I’m FAMOUS for this.) and 2) their choice doesn’t reflect on you, about the type of person you are.

I think, in a way, I’ve crossed the metaphorical bridge to find my own path, my own happiness. But every now and then, I wander back over to the beginning, to see if there’s anything/one that has changed. I need to learn not to go back, not to revisit.

To accept the things I cannot change.

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