It’s currently 9:30pm. I’m at work. My day hasn’t gone as planned and my discipline – whatever that means – went out the window.
Ehhh. Ok. That’s not exactly true. I went for a 9-mile run this morning and I forced myself to run faster. It was tiring, and I didn’t exactly get the results I wanted, but I did it. I came home, ate breakfast, and went right back out again. I didn’t feel like going anywhere, but I did. I went to a very informative injury clinic this afternoon, so if I ever do get injured, I know the stretches that’ll help me out.
On the way home, I started making a list in my head of all the things I wanted to get accomplished today. By the time I got home, I was ready for a nap, and so I gave in. I woke up to three texts from a co-worker, telling me he wouldn’t be in for work today. It didn’t even occur to me that it might have been an April Fools’ joke (sadly, it wasn’t). So, none of the things I wanted to get done actually got done. I’m not even sure I’ve eaten all that much today.
I guess that’s what tomorrow is for? I don’t know. It’s hard not to feel disappointed when you just want to get things “right”. Especially things you impose on yourself. Beattie reminds us not to push everything – go slow. Take your time. Things will happen when they need to. I’m not sure if I was pushing or not.
I’m just sort of tired of knowing that I could be super-awesome but that I generally settle for being mediocre.