April 2 is supposed to be about facing your guilt and shame; perhaps Beattie had a sense of humor when she placed this topic the day after April Fool’s.
Anyway, the only thing I currently feel guilt and shame about is the fact that I ALMOST! forgot to write a blog post tonight. I dragged myself out of bed to write these pointless words that you are now reading. It’s a good thing that I can type well, albeit with incorrectly placed fingers, because I can barely see (did I mention I dragged myself out of bed?).
Nevertheless, everyone faces roadblocks of guilt and shame from time to time. And so many of us make the simple mistake of letting whatever those are define us as people. I have the hardest time with this; there are times when the past will envelop me for weeks. Is there a reason to linger there? Only sometimes, but strangely, the past, guilt, and shame become familiar, become comforting. It’s accepting whatever roadblocks may be there, accepting the unknown that is scary. And most importantly, it’s still respecting yourself through all of the introspection.
I have to say, I’m not thrilled about it, and as of this writing I still have a lot to face. Hopefully, one day, I’ll have the courage to carry through.
It’s easy to live in the past, and is comforting, because its what we know. The prospect of letting go and allowing change and new things into our lives can be very frightening. So, we stay in our past bubble of things we regret and things that make us feel bad. How odd to feel comfort in our pain.
Fyi…my phone tries to auto correct “in” to “JB” (now reread with constant JB instead of in haha)