I think, for anyone – especially if you’ve been through hard times – you experience this panicky feeling: “Am I loveable?” And so often, the word gets interchanged with so many other ideas. If you ask if you’re loveable, what you really might be asking is, “Am I wanted? Am I liked? Am I cared for? Am I interesting?”
It’s difficult, especially when we live in a culture where other human beings are adored – sometimes for doing something worthy of it, and sometimes for absolutely nothing at all. We compare ourselves to those people, maybe subconsciously. We think, “If only I had ______ then people would love me,” and on a very basic level, it might even transfer to those immediately involved with us. You might look at what other people have (I’m not only speaking of materialistic things; rather, it’s more conceptual) and be slightly envious. You might think, “Well, if that person is in a relationship, or seems happy, or has the big house, what the fuck is wrong with me?”
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve looked at myself or looked at other people and said, “What is wrong with me? Aren’t I good enough?” And there – “good enough” was my exchange for “loveable”.
Beattie suggests, once again, faking it til you make it: “Today, I will tell myself I’m loveable. I will do this until I believe it.”
So today, I’m loveable. And worthy. And good enough.
And so are you.