Leave a Comment life

High low.

It seems like my life has been a lot of ups and downs lately. I’ve had a lot of good moments; I’ve been going out more, pushing myself to be more social, as exhausted as that makes me.  I’ve lost 7 pounds, I plan to exercise on a continual basis, and I’m trying to understand and take control of my problems. I’m trying to stay positive. I’m trying to find balance.

A week or so ago, I was told: “It seems like you’re two people. You strike me as a loving, attractive, intelligent, bright, caring individual, and then you also have moments where you’re a real pain in the ass.” It’s all true. I try so hard to gain approval, I pay attention to things, I take real pride in learning something – and if I’m interested enough – trying to excel at it. I’m also my own worst enemy – my attitude, my crusades for “what’s right,” my feelings of unfairness, sometimes makes it so that I’m not taken seriously or listened to. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world, mostly because I know that I deserve to be listened to.

That’s what my intuition tells me, anyway. But I’m plagued by doubts and fears that I’m not good enough. That my anger issues will ruin me. That I spend too much time being reactive and not absorbing. One of my worst habits (I guess you could call it this) is to look to other people to build me up. To bounce ideas off of, to make sure that what I’m thinking is ok. To tell me how I am. I need to trust myself. So here’s what I know: I’m really smart. I’m generally thoughtful. I love a lot. I have a good sense of humor. I’m lazier than I should be. I still don’t think that I look all that great, but maybe that will change over time.

Beattie says that, when in doubt, to trust in yourself. And if you still have that doubt to place it out into the universe. Whatever plan there is, it’ll work out: “the plan will happen in spite of us, not because of us.” It doesn’t mean I don’t have to work for what I want, though. Onward and upward.

207 Responses to “High low.”

  1. PaulFut

    [url=https://xrpills.com/]buy accutane 20mg online[/url] [url=https://tadalafilmtab.com/]tadalafil 20mg cost[/url] [url=https://eccpharm.com/]prednisone 80 mg[/url] [url=https://sildenafilzpill.com/]generic sildenafil in usa[/url] [url=https://cialisgenericnow.com/]where to buy generic cialis online canada[/url]

  195. instagram bot takipçi satin al

    I’m amazed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both
    educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the
    nail on the head. The problem is an issue that too few men and women are speaking intelligently
    about. I’m very happy that I found this in my search for something relating to this.

  207. Harmony Nenni

    Whats up are using WordPress for your blog platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you need any html coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!|

Leave a Comment

  • (will not be published)

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>