I’ve come to a realization:
Writing about letting go when you’re on vacation is kind of tough. Today’s topic, “removing the victim,” speaks true to me, but only a bit. Beattie writes about how, instead of asking others, “Don’t you care? Can’t you see?” that you accept your pain and take self-responsibility.
I know that, in the past, I’ve looked to others for help but a lot of the time, I don’t talk about it. I feel it, to be sure. But I don’t talk about it. In that respect, I guess I could be more responsible and accepting.
I was talking to someone before I left and I said that this trip would be an interesting experience. When asked why, I said I usually view vacations, no matter the length or location, as a way to forget about my life for a while. So yes, okay, that’s normal, but the severity in which I feel the pressure to GTFO is enormous. The difference between this trip and others is that I have no connection to Texas. Usually, the places I visit have had some “meaning” to me; they remind me of somewhere, or someone or something. This is new; I have nothing to compare it to, and no memory to which it is attached.
I usually walk around these places, taking comfort in the surroundings and healing “just enough,” or coming to peace with an issue that’s been bothering me. There’s been no such outlet here, except to say that I’m with one of my best friends in the world, absorbing the music and the food (and Lone Star beer mmm mmm), going on new adventures every day because we didn’t care to buy $600 badges. It’s been interesting and tiring and fun. And it’s only the 3rd day.
As far as today, we’re trying to plan that now. Since we’ve been here, we’ve only heard (read: paid attention to) one band. For someone who writes a weekly music column, I’ve sort of failed in that aspect. Surprisingly, I’m not too concerned; it’ll get done somehow. I guess I am learning to let go a little. :)