Many days ago, I vowed to write in this blog (read: journal-ly thing for 20-somethings). I did, for the most part… there were a couple of days I unintentionally skipped.
It turns out that, although you want things to happen in a given year … well, sometimes they don’t. And that’s okay.
I think the number one remark I got from people on this was, “You’re so funny!” (I like that, and I’ll continue to be.) I think the number two remark was, “I don’t think you swear too much.” (Shut the fuck up, bitches.)
At about the middle of the year I stopped referencing Beattie – mostly because my cousin cleaned my apartment and I haven’t seen The Language of Letting Go since. Again, that’s okay.
On the first blog post of 2012, I was trying to complete some goals. I wanted to lose weight (I haven’t). I wanted to cook more (I haven’t). I wanted to finish my book (I haven’t). I wanted to write more (I did). I wanted to read more (I had a good run, for a while). I wanted to exercise more (I had a couple good runs). And on and on and on. I am not a good goal-finisher.
I think the major goal was to let things go (I tried. I cannot say I succeeded fully).
See, the thing is: at heart I am a dreamer. And I imagine some big cathartic moment to occur, where peace comes to me in a big old sunshine bath. But, see, the thing is: sunshine baths don’t happen. And if they do, get me out of there, because that means the apocalypse cannot be far behind.
I am not at peace with myself, yet. But I am working on it. Change is hard, difficult, maddening… and rewarding.
And so I move into 2013 with very little expectation – at least, quiet expectations, because right now I just want to chill out, drink Fat Tire and have myself a nonchalant New-Year-Welcoming-Party.
Have a great New Year, everyone. Be safe.