She Flies Through The Air with The Greatest of Ease…

Since I’m sorta lame, here’s a summary of the events of last night:

1) It was a LivingSocial deal.

2) I was required to put on a nametag because it was a LivingSocial deal.

3) We started by jumping on a trampoline. The first time, learning how to jump and stop. The second time, learning how to jump in different ways, then land on your ass and jump right back up.

3a) I just kept falling on my ass. I also got upstaged pretty immediately by a trio of older women who I’m pretty sure were cheerleaders in disguise.

4) We then moved to the acrobatic yoga section, where you not only did yoga moves, but you balanced people while you were doing the moves.

4a) Acrobatic yoga is not a good idea if you don’t have core strength and you’re fat and you shake a lot. See also: me.

5) Moving onto the trapeze part.

5a) I was shaking so badly going up the ladder, they had to tell me how to climb up the ladder.

5b) You’re hooked and restrained and then all of the sudden they tell you to jump and you’re jumping and you’re flying.

5c) As you’re flying, someone down below is shouting commands that your brain cannot comprehend because you’re flying, holding onto a bar. I tried to move my legs but as it turns out, my body isn’t that strong. So, basically, twice, I just flew in the air for a bit.

5d) It was so. cool.

5e) My friend actually did every trick without a problem. Because she is awesome like that.

Have decided my next LivingSocial deal will be a trip to a winery, because that requires no physical activity except for drinking.

Have a good night, everyone.

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