People Pleasing.

Today I discovered, while messing around with my new iPhone, that if you tell Siri “I love you,” she says, “I am here to serve you.”

And I thought it was an odd response (although maybe it was strange in the first place to say, “I love you,”) until it occurred to me that Siri is the ultimate people-pleaser. She can’t say, “I love you,” back because 1) she’s a machine and that would just be weird, and 2) …yeah that would just be weird.

But the point is she was made so that you – if you so chose – could have someone fuss over you. And while she won’t pick up your dry cleaning or bring you coffee, she’ll remind you about your dry cleaning and direct you to the nearest Starbucks.

After all, she just wants to serve you. Is that too much to ask?

Now, I’m not saying I’m a machine. But I – from time to time – have been known to try and bend over backwards for people. And while I won’t wash your clothes with my tears or anything, I might do something I know will make you happy. I guess the expectation is that one day, it’ll be repaid. I guess when you do something like that, you take the risk that it won’t ever be. But that’s usually not something you think about until much, much later, when you’re sitting in the middle of your livingroom, still in your PJs from four days ago, eating a bag of chips and telling Siri, “Siri, I’m not happy.” That’s when she tells you, “Sorry, I don’t understand ‘I’m not happy,'” and you’re like, “Well WHAT THE FUCK, Siri?” And she’s all, “I don’t know.”

There are two morals to this story: 1) don’t try to confuse a machine, because it’ll act dumb. 2) try to do things for yourself. this is not being egotistical. if you want to do something for others, that’s awesome. Do it! but examine your motives. because if you’re looking for inner happiness by making other people happy, you have nothing left to give yourself.

I don’t know why I started typing in all lowercase. Still lazy from yesterday, apparently. Be good to yourselves. :)