Like Beating Your Head Against A Wall

If an action hurts, why would you continue to do it?

Yet, sometimes, that’s how life is. Whatever the proverbial situation, sometimes we repeat the same things over and over again to the same effect.

And we never.

Understand.

Why.

For me, currently, it’s overwhelming. So overwhelming, in fact, that I am moved to inaction.

I NEED TO ACT.

LIKE I NEED CHINESE FOOD.

AND A BOTTLE OF WINE.

OR THREE.

Today’s topic, according to Beattie, is that life is a gentle teacher. I disagree with the woman. Sometimes life is a drill sergeant. Sometimes life will bitchslap you in the face. Sometimes life will surprise you. Sometimes, when you stop being so effing stubborn to what you’re being taught, life and you will play nice like you’ve been besties from day one.

The key, Beattie writes, is – especially when you’re feeling frustrated (frustrated? me? nooooo.) – to take a step back, chill out, let it all soak in, and you might just discover that you’ve got it all figured out; the answer was always there, just waiting to make sense. That doesn’t mean it’ll be easy, but the solutions may become more clear.

At the moment, I sort of feel like I have this necklace (and sorry to any of my readers who are dudes, but this is the best I can come up with). And, without warning, rhyme or reason, there’s a knot in the chain. And so you spend all friggin’ day trying to undo this knot and you can’t do it. You bend your nails backwards, you curse your nails for being too short, you consider cutting it off with scissors, you try to get others to do it but they can’t so you take it out on them for their ineptitude to untie this knot and then, frustrated, you throw the thing down.

And the next day, you go back. Cool. Calm. Collected. (Sort of.) And instead of digging in right away, you try to trace the pattern of the knot. Work slowly. Gently. And suddenly, the knot becomes untied.

I know I don’t have it all figured out right now, but there is plenty I’m currently frustrated with, so maybe some time off will do me good.

For the moment, I surrender.