Leave a Comment Humor, life

It’s Been A Very Weird Day.

A couple of years ago, my sister said to me, “I feel like you observe a disproportionate amount of weird things.” I supposed it to be true, then, rationalizing that – when you kind of keep to yourself, don’t talk much, and have headphones on whenever you can  – you’re bound to witness a lot of things, and some might be strange.

I was reminded of this today, when sitting on the El I saw a man who looked like a cross between Frankenstein and death warmed up. I did sideways glances for a while to see if anyone noticed what I was noticing, but it appeared that I was the crazy one. Then, on my walk home, I saw a very drunken man sprawled out against a church takin’ a snooze. And there were other people there, sitting on the church steps, but they were all like, “EVERYTHING’S NORMAL, YOU CRAZY,” and so I left it alone.

I went to music lessons, where we discussed and laid out the foundation to learn Ray LaMontagne’s “Rock & Roll & Radio” and – while my reception worked PERFECTLY in the basement of the school – it no longer worked out in the open air.

And then I went to dinner, and afterward a bum asked me for my leftovers. So I gave it to him. I never take leftovers, because I rarely eat them. And the one time I do, someone’s hungry. SO WEIRD.

And THEN I went to CVS to procure the birth control pills for the sex that I’m not having! (… no, really, it’s for PCOS, which is not as funny…) And I had to verify that I was approved for the medication (at least I think that’s what I read? It was like a paragraph, and I was confused as to why I was seeing it there and… ) and then I had to sign a screen.

I hope this is not a sign of things to come, because if it is… I will throw little pebbles of Ortho-Tri-Cyclen at The White House EVERY FUCKING DAY… and then I will make them pay for the pills. Because that shit is NOT cheap.

Have a good night, everyone.

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