Green Eggs and Ham

It’s official: I am the antagonist of the beloved Dr. Seuss book Green Eggs and Ham. Does it mean I don’t eat eggs? No. Does it mean I won’t eat green things? Nuh-uh. Am I a vegetarian? Only sometimes.

Strangely, I found myself thinking of this book as I once again searched for apartments today. And here’s my dilemma: I want to move out of this apartment, yes, but I seem to be stubbornly clinging to my neighborhood. It’s MINE. I’ve lived here for three years and I cherish it so.

And people say, “You never know until you try,” and yeah, I get it. But it’s like the dude in the book. (Was he a dude? I don’t know. He never had a name.) He’s like, “STFU Sam I Am! I AM NOT EATING THOSE!” except, you know, more rhyme-y and less wordy. (Did you know that the book only contains 50 words? The more you Wikipedia…)

So I have this plate in front of me of nasty looking stuff, and I just don’t want it. I don’t want to move further north, or west, or south, or east. It’s not HERE. Plus, the places sometimes are mislabeled which is irritating. It looks beautiful, the price is right, it’s not too far away from where I live now, except… what…? It’s in Naperville? (Nothing against you if you happen to live in Naperville. It’s the first ‘burb that came to my head.)

I don’t know; maybe I’ll end up drinkin’ the Kool-aid and move somewhere that I end up really loving. In essence, I’ll again be like that dude with no name: “You know, Sam I Am, these eggs and ham are in fact damn good. Now, really, STFU.”

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