Leave a Comment Humor, life

G’bye Cheetos.

Fridays are somewhat irrelevant to me since I work Saturdays as well, but there’s something automatically relaxing about knowing that the weekend is here.

With everything that’s been going on, I figured tonight would be the perfect night to shut my brain down for a while. Last night, I started looking up vegetarian recipes. (From time to time, I consider going vegetarian. I have no real basis for it, just that sometimes eating meat weirds me out if it’s chewy or otherwise gross.)

So I found a few, and then did the bravest thing I’ve done in a while: went to Whole Foods. With a list. Normally, I don’t shop at Whole Foods, but I figured they’d have more produce/specialty type items. It took me about 30 minutes before I became overwhelmed and panicky, but managed to leave with most of my listed items.

It’s been a while since I cooked real food (if a recipe says that it’ll take an hour, it’ll take me six hours). I made whole wheat pasta with cannelini beans and broccoli rabe. It needs more work in the flavor department, but it didn’t taste bad.

TAKE THAT, CHEETOS-THAT-I-WOULD-NORMALLY-BE-STUFFING-MY-FACE-WITH.

I also decided to have wine, and then remembered I don’t have a corkscrew. My last corkscrew met its end with the last bottle of wine I had, wherein it snapped clean off. It was a sad day, but its funeral was swift. Naturally I looked up ways to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew, and the best suggestion was a bunch of French dudes putting wine bottles in their shoes and hitting them against the wall until the pressure made the cork come out on its own. I wasn’t going to do that. I merely pushed the cork down INTO the bottle – essentially, wasting it, because there’s no way in hell I’m going to drink this all by myself.

I mean, I could try, but I don’t think it’d bode well for humanity.

In the meantime, I’m gonna rest and elevate the problem limb.

Have a good night, everyone.

 

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