I don’t remember minding Halloween very much, but it’s certainly not one I’ve gone crazy over in years past. This may be because I put all of my energies into my birthday, and Halloween just became an afterthought.

I can’t even tell you my favorite costume. I remember I went as a flapper girl when I was 3; I was a ballerina one year, I went as a witch, and a ghost. I tried to emulate Britney Spears when I was 15 and my mom called me retarded.

I’ve never been able to watch horror movies very successfully. I’d like to blame this on my sister, who showed me Freddie Kreuger when I was young and told me it was Peter Pan. For YEARS I wouldn’t take showers, only baths, because I was afraid of getting sucked down the drain (in retrospect, I’m glad I wasn’t introduced to the franchise by watching Johnny Depp get sucked into that bed, because you can bet your ass I would never have slept. EVER). But the truth is I’ve always had a very over-active imagination, and such things leech onto my brain with no intention of release.

To this day there is only a limited number of scary movies I can tolerate, even if they are from 1972. I had to watch the beginning of Scream 12 times before I could desensitize myself (sort of) to the rest of the movie.

Most of the people I know do not have this problem. First serious boyfriend loved the horror movies. Loved. Them. Loved, also, to scare me with them. Last serious boyfriend loved to watch documentaries about serial killers.

And we’d also frequently fall asleep to Buffy, and that title music is NOT a soothing lullaby, let me tell you.

(Speaking of Buffy, do you remember that episode called “Hush”? And these creepy ass dudes are all just floating around on campus like, “Oh, everything’s okay, EXCEPT I’M GOING TO STEAL YOUR VOICE AND CUT OUT YOUR HEART MUHAHAHAHA…” Yeah. That episode still scares the shit out of me.)

I… do not know where I went wrong in life.

Willow‘s a good Halloween movie. (Willow‘s not a Halloween movie at all.)

Have a good night, everyone, and happy halloween.

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