Release.

I just realized that in a mere 7 months, I’ll be 28. Weird. What that has to do with the rest of this post is, of course, absolutely nothing.

Beattie makes things sound so easy. “Let the fears slip away,” she writes, as if fears are silken sheets casually dropped and left on the floor. The point of today, for her, is to release all the fears, resentments, problems – even the deep-seeded ones. They’re no longer useful, so why hold onto the old baggage?

Okay, so the lady has a point. The problem, for me, is that some of my fears/resentments/problems I would really like to punch in the face. And only then might I feel better – a sense of release, one might say.

Today, I faced three fears: I consciously began to eat better (again) and made healthier choices, even if it wasn’t what I REALLY wanted. After an hour of hemming and hawing, I went outside to run. I had a terrible time; it was too hot for me. But the point is that even though I didn’t want to, I did it anyway, even if it wasn’t to completion (and truth be told I was beating myself up about it the entire way home). Exercise, I think, is always something I WANT to enjoy but I still haven’t found a crafty way to trick my brain into enjoying it. (Also, my first-ever official race is on Sunday, and I’m freaking the fuck out.) Thirdly, I attempted to negotiate my rent increase (they want $970, I… want less than that). This is something I’ve never done, and for whatever reason, have always been afraid to do. Hopefully it shall work out in my favor.

I took these three things, and I punched them in their faces. Metaphorically, yes. Too bad there’s still a ton of other issues to tackle. (This is why I’m not writing motivational speeches any time soon.)