An Open Letter to My Leg.

Dear leg,

Right now, I’m not sure how much more I can handle from you.  Today, I went to go get you checked out because you’ve been hurting (AGAIN) and I expected more of the same – slight injury, la la la.

And of course I decided to do this on a day that I hadn’t shaved my legs (sorry, therapist dude, for the 2-day stubble), and of course my feet probably smelled and were unsightly (I’m still recuperating post-marathon), and I’m sorry for all of the little stretchy tests and resistance exercises I had to use you to do.

But seriously?

First there was the swelling, then there was the shin splints, then there’s the constant fear of diabetes because I eat like shit and I think your feet fall off after a while, then there was compression therapy every fuckin’ Tuesday (ugh), and there were stretches that were painful, and icing that was ok ,and elevating  that was like, SERIOUSLY I NEED A PEDICURE OVER HERE… and to be quite honest I don’t know why it’s the left leg. No offense or anything, but why are you special?

The therapist dude thinks that, if these series of stretches don’t help in at least a week, I should see my regular doctor, and consider compartment syndrome. In certain scenarios, the end game to this syndrome IS THAT THEY CUT YOUR FUCKING LEG WIDE THE FUCK OPEN … to release pressure.

(Lest you don’t believe me, Wikipedia – that holiest of sites – has a terrifying picture that I’ve been sending to friends.)

So, I don’t believe I have this – at least I hope that’s not what this is – … at least, I hope diabetes may be a better option than this… in the meantime, I cannot run (I couldn’t do that without much pain anyway). I cannot walk for prolonged periods (no winter beach walks for me!).

I can do other cardio and get a sports massage. Goody.

So, I’m not quite sure what to do. Meanwhile, I shall continue to think happy thoughts, try to get my ass to the gym at least twice a week, and hope that you, leg, get better.

Otherwise, we got probs.



36 Responses to “An Open Letter to My Leg.”

  1. jimmydevious

    Your leg is being a drama queen huh? :P lol

    That “procedure” does look pretty gross, but part of me still thinks worse case scenario that it’d be better than the diabetes…I mean, you can’t eat jackshite that good with the diabetes, ANND you eventually turn into a grumpy old fat dude with a handlebar cowboy mush-stauche who eats nothing but oatmeal all day. Being a grumpy old fat dude really, REALLY sucks! ;) lol

    But in all seriousness, hang in there and like you said, think POSITIVE! Otherwise, you’ll worry yourself into a corner!

    Hope you get to feeling better soon. :)

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