20 Miles: A Retrospective.

Upon reflecting about yesterday’s 20-miler, I became increasingly concerned that I would not finish the marathon in the time allotted. I asked my dad, who ran the marathon sometime in the late 80s, if I would still get a medal if I was not an official finisher. He said he wasn’t sure, but what mattered was that I ran it, not that I got a medal.

I explained that that was all well and fine and everything, but… if I was running the damn thing, I wanted a medal.

He said something to the effect that the medal wasn’t important, that the medal, in fact, would be in my heart – my fortitude for running, for trying, for finishing – official or not. But, he said, if I didn’t finish officially, he’d give me one of my brothers’ track medals… and hopefully that would help.

I would like my own medal, though.

I’m not quite sure what I was looking for yesterday, and – as I examine and re-examine – I probably wasn’t as prepared as I should have been. I woke up an hour later than I wanted to, ate greek yogurt and some mini crackers, stretched a bit and set off to run 20 miles.

In retrospect, I should have eaten more.

I got through the first mile okay (way better than my 18-mile experience!) and stretched once more when I got to the lake. I ran simultaneously with CARA runners, who were participating in the Newton Ready to Run 20-Miler (a race I could have signed up for to alleviate the pain of running alone, but I didn’t want to spend $65 to run a distance I could just do by myself). We weaved in and around each other about three times, and once I high-fived someone who thought I was participating in the race.

I felt like I was doing really well through mile 5, reserving my water intake, not running incredibly fast (still having trouble with a consistent pace, however), remembering to breathe (yes, almost a year later, this is still hard for me). I decided to turn around at mile 10, even though it would mean going all the way back north. When I ran the 18-miler, I ended up by Navy Pier, and became increasingly worried about getting lost and losing track of the path. Even though I didn’t get lost on that adventure, I still wanted to make it as easy as possible for myself.

And that’s when I started to notice that my stomach was full-out growling. And I knew that I was fucked.

I quickly downed some Gu chomps (a gift from a friend during my 18-miler that I never used; a good thing, too, because in all of my wisdom… I forgot to get more).

I started to stumble a bit after that, but I recovered for the most part. I continued on with my intervals and somehow made it to mile 15. I remembered how I felt when I did the 15-mile training run, and how awesome I felt there… I tried to rev myself up, but it didn’t exactly work. In the meantime, my left earbud decided to call it a day, and every now and then, it would crackle into existence.

Just in case you were wondering – if you’re running a long distance and you can feel it becoming a losing battle, a simple annoyance such as a malfunctioning earbud becomes a MAJOR PROBLEM.

By mile 16, my Garmin was starting to blink that its battery was low. I figured things would be ok, because the same thing happened on my 18-mile run… and the battery never died.

I was wrong.

In retrospect, I should have charged the fucking thing the night before like a smart human being.

I started to really falter at that point. I didn’t want to run anymore, I didn’t want to walk anymore. I just wanted to be done. I tried to run and couldn’t. My brain was still functioning pretty well at that point, and so I kept trying to reason with myself… Why wasn’t I just pushing through this? Was I hurt? Was something wrong? Was I frustrated? Was I angry? And on and on.

I got to mile 17. And walked a lot more than I ran.

I got to mile 18. And my watch died.

And my soul died with it.

My only saving grace was that, at the point, I knew exactly where I was, and where I needed to go to finish. Regardless of all my inner bitchings about wanting to be done, wanting to be faster, I… just… kept… walking. Kept looking at my phone. Kept being really sad about how this was all ending.

I got to mile 19 and thought, “Wouldn’t it be cool if I just ran this last one? I’ve run a continuous mile like 4 times. I can do it for this.”

And I started… and stopped. At that point, it was 12 noon – and since it’s Chicago and all, everyone was outside. Trying to run around them was like a suicide mission. I walked and then pitifully ran the last quarter mile and made it to 20 miles.

So… I did it. Am I happy about it? Only sort of. If I do this kind of performance in the marathon, I’ll probably get done around 6am Tuesday at which point I’ll drown my sorrows in breakfast and mimosas. I mean, yes, I stuck it out… I finished. I practically crawled across my finish. But did I do it in the way I wanted? No. Do I still have a ton to work on? Yes.

Am I running out of time? YES.

Am I feeling sort of lazy and mostly like a shithead? OF COURSE.

So: here’s the plan – EAT. BREATHE. WALK FASTER. HYDRATE. GET HEADPHONES THAT WORK. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LAZINESS AND NEEDING TO SLOW DOWN. DON’T CONFUSE SLOWING DOWN WITH WEAKNESS. FINISH STRONG, HOPEFULLY WITHIN THE ALLOTTED TIME BECAUSE I REALLY WANT MY FUCKING MEDAL.

Have a good night, everyone.

661 Responses to “20 Miles: A Retrospective.”

  1. Liz

    I understand the need for that medal as validation, but how sweet of your Dad. But if I hadn’t gotten a medal for the half, I would have been sad, and no amount of justifying not getting one by counting the number of needed toliet breaks would have made me feel any better. (Did any of that make sense?)

    I think your plan looks good. Eat good foods. Drink water..I know you hate it (which is hard for me to understand. I love water. Water and milk 4 life!) Take your time and you’ll finish! There’s my non-official in anyway advise. Really proud of you for doing this!

  2. amanda

    thank you! Water is disgusting because it tastes like nothing but water. :) I’m working on it, though (along with a myriad other things…).

  3. Chase- Squirrel Trap

    Hi! I could have sworn I’ve visited this web site before but after browsing through some of the articles I realized it’s new to me. Regardless, I’m definitely delighted I came across it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back regularly!

  4. Gail

    Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually realize what you are speaking approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly additionally discuss with my site =). We could have a hyperlink trade agreement among us!

  5. Elwood

    With everything which seems to be developing throughout this particular subject matter, many of your opinions are relatively exciting. Nevertheless, I am sorry, because I can not subscribe to your whole strategy, all be it refreshing none the less. It seems to me that your commentary are generally not completely rationalized and in simple fact you are your self not even fully convinced of the point. In any event I did enjoy reading through it.

  6. Tamar- India

    Hi there, simply changed into alert to your weblog thru Google, and found that it’s truly informative. I’m gonna be careful for brussels. I’ll be grateful when you continue this in future. Lots of folks can be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  7. Willian

    Simply being in character is a wonderful encounter. Camping is amongst the most pleasurable pastimes. That said, in order to ensure your camping out trip is fun and pleasant, you really do need to acquire several things into mind when planing such a vacation. The subsequent suggestions will help you be much better prepared for moving camping. Hold your place at the camping area without delay. Particularly in the summer, lots of people are thinking about camping because of their households. If one makes your reservation in the wintertime, you might be more likely to get the best amount probable. Individuals cost savings can lead to extra family fun throughout your getaway. Know what comes in the spot around your campsite. You will get fortunate and also have beautiful weather conditions the entire time. Even so, you might also face bad conditions, as well. Have got a backup program if you happen to need to have a diversion. This really is specifically important in case you have little ones, but men and women need a little enjoyment too! When you load the camp internet site to travel home, keep a few logs and some kindling for the upcoming camping group which comes along. For those who have actually reached your site after dark, you probably know how challenging it could be to locate firewood! It’s a very nice pay out-it-ahead touch that will most likely assist more than you can think of. Put together a number of the food items ahead of time so you simply will not must mess around along with it with the camp site. Comprise some snacks, precook the pasta and get together foods which can be enjoyed as is also to produce every meal much less cumbersome. Other foods could be satisfying to get ready from the woods, however some ought to anticipate to carry on the days the elements will not be excellent. Make a list of what exactly you need to take before you go camping. You may be thinking you will be efficient at preparing, but very little in addition is a whole lot worse than simply being out during the forest and acknowledging you neglected your hypersensitivity treatment. Take a seat and create a thorough set of everything you might need in the week just before your camping trip. As was reported at the beginning of the article, camping outdoors demands significant amounts of planning prior to each and every vacation. Use the suggestions stated earlier to help you ensure that you strategy your trip wisely so that you and all your family members are sure to have a good time.

  8. Rigoberto Pest Control

    After exploring a few of the blog articles on your blog, I truly appreciate your technique of writing a blog. I bookmarked it to my bookmark site list and will be checking back soon. Please visit my web site too and let me know how you feel.

  9. Cletus Laminator

    You are so awesome! I don’t think I’ve read through a single thing like this before. So wonderful to find somebody with some unique thoughts on this issue. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is something that is required on the web, someone with a little originality!

  10. Hubert Chiropractic

    Wonderful goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely fantastic. I really like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it wise. I can not wait to read far more from you. This is really a terrific web site.

  11. Val Chiropractic

    Right here is the right blog for anyone who wants to understand this topic. You know a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually will need to…HaHa). You definitely put a brand new spin on a topic that’s been discussed for decades. Great stuff, just wonderful.

  12. Gale Queens

    Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wished to mention that I’ve truly loved browsing your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing in your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  13. Dewey Winnipeg

    Wow that was strange. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say wonderful blog!

  14. Freeda Centres

    I think this is one of the most significant information for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But wanna remark on some general things, The site style is wonderful, the articles is really great : D. Good job, cheers

  15. Trinidad International

    I’m very pleased to discover this great site. I want to to thank you for ones time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely liked every bit of it and i also have you book-marked to look at new stuff on your website.

  16. Chong Continue

    Good web site you have here.. It’s difficult to find good quality writing like yours nowadays. I seriously appreciate people like you! Take care!!

  17. Sandee Dr

    That is a really good tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere. Short but very accurate info… Thank you for sharing this one. A must read article!

  18. Physical|Physiotherapist Physical|Injuries Physical|Therapies Physical|Injuries Physical|Pain Physical|Physio Physical|Therapy Physical|Physiotherapists Physical|Physical Physical}

    Going with a big selection of buddies will make for any truly remarkable vacation. There is nothing at all a lot better than happening trip with close friends, and there are several holiday destinations that may allow for big groups. This post will give you some ideas for enhancing your exciting on the following group of people journey. Acquire an additional credit card with you while on a trip. Points often get lost on very long journeys. Whenever you can, always keep an additional debit card helpful. Experiencing too much funds on hand can be a bad concept. An added credit card is far less unsafe and far easier to keep track of. If you are intending on paying a lot of cash on your trip or trip, look at investing a little volume more on travel insurance policy. It is going to ensure that you are currently safeguarded when your vacation needs to be canceled due to individual sickness, organic tragedy, or other uncontrollable events. To save money you need to strategy your journey as much in superior since you can. Equally plane and resort tickets will in all probability be more affordable should you buy them several weeks well before your trip happens instead then a couple of weeks before. You should use the funds you saved to take pleasure from on your own far better in your holiday, or you can save it to be on yet another. A plastic material sneaker organizer more than your hotel door are able to keep you prepared. It is not easy to remain structured out of the house, with little to no storage area other than your luggage. Set an organizer over your bathroom door if you get there, the type using the very clear wallets is most beneficial. It can be used to hold your basics whilst keeping them in which it’s an easy task to locate. When traveling using more than one particular child, think about pre-loading every child’s apparel in a huge fridge case. These luggage can be labeled with every day, hence the children can certainly get the garments they’re likely to put on. This prevents them from having to unpack the full luggage each morning, plus reduces the risk of goods being overlooked in the home. As was mentioned initially on this article, there may be nothing at all superior to going on a trip using a big group of buddies. Vacationing with a group paves the way to many distinct actions that will definitely be a great time. Apply the recommendations with this report for maximizing your enjoyable next time you and your friends vacation.

  19. Physically Sports

    Hey There. I found your weblog the usage of msn. This is a really smartly written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to learn more of your useful info. Thank you for the post. I will certainly comeback.

  20. injuries

    Very rapidly this web site will be famous amid all blog users, due to it’s nice articles or reviews

  21. Tanya

    Whether or not you’re preparing an spectacular trip or having a spur from the second jaunt, often, it’s the little specifics that may be the figuring out aspect on how significantly you love your time and energy away from home. The information in this post will allow you to strategy the ideal escape. Keep all unneeded possessions in the home. You are taking the risks of obtaining everything stolen on your part if you deliver valuables along. When you are traveling to a region that features a liquid-limitation on all drinks you may well be packaging, purchase club shampoos and teeth natural powder. Truth be told, you can easily discover nightclub shampoo or conditioner and tooth paste obtainable in powder form on the internet. These items are a fun way to have all around liquefied-limits. When you are traveling in countries around the world with hazardous faucet water, bear in mind other methods that you could be subjected. Close the mouth while using the bath and brush your tooth simply with handled water. If you make tea or espresso together with the normal water, give it time to boil for a lot of moments before steeping. A modest coverage could make you very sick. Invest in a travel attire, and that is a outfit that can be donned a number of techniques. It might be worn being a dress, skirt, shirt and place. You can then load a number of other components and accompanying things, which will save lots of area inside your luggage for all the gifts you wish to bring home. Get a couple of clothespins along with you once you traveling. It is really an uncommon piece to think about preparing, even so they could be quite beneficial. If you’re taking a vacation cruise, be sure you take a compact time travelling bag along. You’ll realize that your luggage won’t be available right away if you board the dispatch. So you’ll want a handbag using a swim go well with, a novel, an extra transform of garments inside, and whatever else you will need immediately. Irrespective of where you would like to go, planning is likely to make your vacation all it might be. Make use of the guidance you’ve read on this page to obtain the best from your travelling practical experience.

  22. Lanny Heyn

    read more info https://socialbookmark.stream/story.php?title=your-sex-doll-cant-ever-refuse-you-or-refuse-you#discusshttps://bookmarkingworld.review/story.php?title=essential-recommendations-to-remember-prior-to-obtaining-sex-using-a-sex-doll#discusshttp://bookmarkstime.com/submithttps://justbookmark.win/story.php?title=4-blunders-you-are-making-together-with-your-silicone-doll-but-wont-recognize#discusshttps://s.id/szUophttps://bookmarks4.men/story.php?title=bring-sex-dolls-residence-and-knowledge-remarkable-delight#discusshttps://www.openlearning.com/u/sexdolls282/blog/SensibleMiniSexDollsFilterBodySmallTinySmallAppreciateDollhttp://www.prbookmarks.cf/story.php?title=here-are-the-very-best-6-misguided-beliefs-busted-about-gay-and-lesbian-sex-dolls#discusshttp://www.aiuextension.org/members/lovedoll206/activity/608234/https://socialbookmark.stream/story.php?title=deliver-sex-dolls-home-and-knowledge-unforgettable-delight#discusshttps://butterweederchildslope8.de.tl/Welcome-to-my-blog/index.htm?forceVersion=desktophttps://bookmarking.win/story.php?title=top-10-japanese-sex-dollsfor-men-most-up-to-date-selection#discusshttp://bookmarkstime.com/story7342073/how-you-can-choose-sex-dolls-for-sex-excitementhttps://is.gd/KL8TBKhttps://lovebookmark.win/story.php?title=expertise-managing-a-sex-doll#discusshttps://sportbookmark.stream/story.php?title=top-ten-misconceptions-about-true-sex-dolls#discusshttps://bookmarkspot.win/story.php?title=man-sex-dolls-getting-pleasure-to-both-men-and-women#discusshttps://techdirt.stream/story.php?title=plastic-sex-dolls-offers-you-realistic-encounter-and-enjoyment#discusshttps://www.autismeurope.org/members/lovedoll384/activity/119026/http://bookmarkloves.com/submithttp://www.pearltrees.com/shophipglidercocoa5http://sqworl.com/moktr5https://writeablog.net/thumbsyruppaulmary3/japanese-realistic-dolls-reviewhttps://coolpot.stream/story.php?title=real-sex-dolls-lucky-with-many-fantastic-traits#discusshttps://bookmarkspot.win/story.php?title=sex-dolls-for-gay-men-the-right-young-man-toy#discusshttps://sexdolls165.tumblr.com/post/630328752915791872/little-sex-dolls-purchase-on-linehttps://telegra.ph/The-Extraordinary-Important-Things-About-An-Higher-Sex-Doll-10-01https://socialbookmark.stream/story.php?title=your-sex-doll-cant-ever-refuse-you-or-refuse-you#discusshttp://twitter.com/home?status=http://xurl.es/oetkc

  23. MargaritaNeoms

    XEvil 5.0 automatically solve most kind of captchas,
    Including such type of captchas: ReCaptcha v.2, ReCaptcha-3, Hotmail (Microsoft), Google captcha, SolveMedia, BitcoinFaucet, Steam, +12000
    + hCaptcha supported in new XEvil 6.0! Just search for XEvil 6.0 in YouTube

    Interested? Just google XEvil 5.0.14
    P.S. Free XEvil Demo is available !

    Also, there is a huge discount available for purchase until 30th July: -30%!
    Stand-alone full license of XEvil price is Just 59 USD

    http://xrumersale.site/

    Check new video in YouTube:
    “XEvil 6.0 1] + XRumer multhithreading hCaptcha test”

  24. Pgslotauto-Game

    pg slot auto game อันดับที่1 สนุกไม่ซ้ำกับใครแน่นอน PG Slot เกม สุดยอดเกมน่าทึ่งแห่งปี เกมใหม่ๆ อัพเดตเพียบลองแล้วติดใจแน่นอน รับประกันดูโปรโมชั่นของเราเกมส์พีจีสล็อต

  25. 777ww casino

    777ww casino สล็อต และคาสิโนมาแรง 2021 อันดับ1เว็บตรง เป็นที่นิยมเป็นอย่างมากในปี2021 สล็อตพีจีเล่นฟรีถอนได้ สมัครใหม่รับเครดิตฟรี100 สล็อตแตกบ่อย

  26. สล็อตpg

    นั่งปั่น สล็อตpg คาเฟ่ชิล ร้านกาแฟ บรรยากาศ สุดฟิน แบบนี้ สามารถมานั่งปั่นสล็อต pg เพลิดเพลินสนุกไปกับมัน เหมาะสมกับการไปนั่งชิลล์ในวันสบายๆ ร้านกาแฟ อากาศร้อนๆแบบงี้ต้องการ

  27. pg soft

    pg soft can be played on all platforms. Supports all systems, 100% safe, can play 24 hours a day. The more you play, the richer you are.

  28. 777ww casino

    777ww Casino สล็อต และคาสิโนมาแรง 2021 อันดับ1เว็บตรง เป็นที่นิยมเป็นอย่างมากในปี2021 สล็อตพีจีเล่นฟรีถอนได้ สมัครใหม่รับเครดิตฟรี100 สล็อตแตกบ่อย

  29. joker123club

    Slot machine game joker123clubshould be played if you’re tired of the same old things. To participate in the enjoyment, we provide a slot machine game called pg-slot.game that is more unique than any other.

  30. pg soft

    pg soft can be played on all platforms. Supports all systems, 100% safe, can play 24 hours a day. The more you play, the richer you are.

  31. akbet25

    akbet25 online football betting website The best in Thailand Apply directly to the website, not through an agent, easy to apply, get real money, slot pg deposit-withdraw, auto 30 seconds, service 24 hours a day.

  32. MargaritaNeoms

    XEvil 5.0 automatically solve most kind of captchas,
    Including such type of captchas: ReCaptcha v.2, ReCaptcha-3, Hotmail (Microsoft), Google, Solve Media, BitcoinFaucet, Steam, +12k
    + hCaptcha supported in new XEvil 6.0! Just search for XEvil 6.0 in YouTube

    Interested? Just google XEvil 5.0.15
    P.S. Free XEvil Demo is available !!

    Also, there is a huge discount available for purchase until 30th July: -30%!
    Stand-alone full license of XEvil price is Just 59 USD

    http://xrumersale.site/

    Check new video in YouTube:
    “XEvil 6.0 1] + XRumer multhithreading hCaptcha test”

  33. ทางเข้า pg slot

    ทางเข้า pg slot เล่น PG SLOT ไม่เป็นอันตราย 100% เกมสล็อตออนไลน์ที่ อยู่ข้างเคียงคุณตลอด 1 วัน เล่นง่าย แจกเงินรางวัลจริง แต่ละเกมลงพนัน เยอะแค่ไหนก็ได้ รวมทั้ง เหตุผลดีๆ

  34. สล็อต

    สล็อต เว็บไซต์สล็อต สล็อตออนไลน์ ยอดนิยมแล้วก็เป็นที่ชอบใจเป็นอย่างมากสำหรับผู้เล่นเกมสล็อตออนไลน์ในช่วงเวลานี้ pg slot นับว่าเป็นที่น่าดึงดูดช่วยทำเงินให้กับผู้เล่น24ชม.

  35. apollo pg

    เข้ามาสมัครเล่นเกม พนันออนไลน์ apollo pg เกมพนันออนไลน์ Apollo Slot Pg ที่สามารถช่วย ให้ผู้เล่นได้รับ ทั้งยังความเพลิดเพลิน ความระทึกใจ และก็โอกาศ ที่จะสร้างรายได้

  36. slot wallet

    slot wallet slotwallet is a slot game ( pg slot )slot that is hot, causing excitement for players regularly. With new game updates coming out continuously, total more than 200 games 2022.

  37. Cami Halisi

    Yün Cami Halısı Yün cami halısı içeriğinde yün malzeme kullanıldığı için, oldukça değerli bir halı türüdür. Yünden yapılmış olan cami halıları, camiye gelen cemaati soğuk zeminden korur. Yün cami halılarının yazın serin kış aylarında da sıcak tutma özelliği vardır. Tamamen doğal malzemeden üretilmiştir. Sağlığa zararlı olan hiçbir kimyasal içerik barındırmaz. Ayrıca bu halılar alev almaz halı vardır. Olası bir yangın tehlikesi ile karşı karşıya kalındığında riski en aza indirger.

  38. Marlin Harps

    naturally like your web-site but you have to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very bothersome to inform the reality nevertheless I’ll certainly come back again.

Leave a Comment

  • (will not be published)

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>