Posts Categorized: Humor

RAWR. Grumble. sigh.

So. I went to a vascular specialist today who thinks that, again, my leg issue is compartment syndrome. Let’s look at the recap of this, which would probably be easier to explain via flowchart, but I’m not gonna make one of those. So we have the running pain, which led to the PT/injury screen visit, which led to no running, which led to the first mention of compartment syndrome, which led to my doctor visit, who said it wasn’t compartment syndrome, just lymphedema. GOOD OL’ LYMPHEDEMA. But I – because in my spare time, I’m also a doctor – refused… I’m not done yet.

Is Will Ferrell Funny?… and other thoughts.

My day has been thus far spent sleeping, and waking up, and sleeping some more. I took a break from the sleeping to have lunch with a friend, and to play piano. I’m pretty sure I’m giving my hands arthritis with all the repetitive playing I’m doing. And when I’m not playing, I’m watching Netflix. It occurs to me that I could be far more productive (I can’t find my primary set of keys, for example), but you know what? I just saw that episode of The Office where it’s Steve Carell’s last episode, and he was crying and I… I’m not done yet.

If I Could Not Fail…

Maybe it’s because my couch has a permanent imprint of my ass these days, but I’ve been thinking a lot about that saying, “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” You know the one. It’s usually in block lettering or – in some versions – accompanied by some awe-inspiring picture of a mountain or a winding road or Jesus. But I… I’m tripped up on it. If I knew I couldn’t fail, I’d do anything. You might think, “You need money to do anything, Amanda!” and I’d agree with you, but also, if you couldn’t fail,… I’m not done yet.

New.

Today was a day of new. I got my hair done. It’s really dark and I love it. I also got my piano. It’s really dark, too, and I love it, too. The problem is that since I have a vagina I can’t put it together. I tried to do so, and it’s still in pieces. I then had a friend try and come and help me. Although he has a penis, it’s still in pieces. I guess it has nothing to do with body parts. He thinks the piano might be defective and that there is some hardware missing…. I’m not done yet.

Eyes… Closing… Daylight… Fading

Actually the daylight doesn’t really make sense considering it’s 10pm here, BUT I am tired and therefore delirious. Today’s big news is that I’m going to become more of a heffer because I cancelled my swim technique lessons that I signed up for just weeks ago (oh, to be young again). The session started today, and I waited until the last minute to cancel because I wasn’t sure how I’d feel. But all day my leg and foot were being uncooperative, so as soon as I got home I wrote an e-mail explaining that I understood that I was one… I’m not done yet.