Posts Categorized: Humor

The Ughs.

I’ve been trying to examine why there exists in the world this feeling that can be summed up as: I DETEST YOU SO MUCH I WANT TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE AND I WON’T EVEN FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. Is this how people go to anger management? Well, I guess they’d have to go if they went around punching people in their faces all the time. I have yet to punch someone in the face (without my magic boxing gloves, and even then it was a slow-mo punch), but today I witnessed pure harnessed wrath between two strangers and… I’m not done yet.

Ping Pong.

It’s official: I am a ping pong ball in this game called “health.” Went to the orthopedist’s office today, hoping not to hear the word “surgery,” but since my mind tends to loom large that’s all I could think about. Not wanting surgery, but thinking surgery may happen. My appointment started about 40 minutes late, and after repeating my whole saga, the orthopedist said, “Well… I don’t think you have compartment syndrome. I think it’s more of a vascular issue.” My face, it seemed, remained frozen – half happy, half sad. Tragi-comedy at its finest. We talked about running, and… I’m not done yet.

And then there are those days where you feel like winning.

Ok, I’ll admit it even though I don’t want to admit it: I feel, very strongly right now, that I need to write the book. I no longer know what the subject matter will be. I just know I need to get it done. I think there are things that are pushing me in that direction, even if I don’t know what they are. Do I sound crazy? Well, I am crazy. Crazy-craze! If you’ve noticed, I’ve talked about writing a book since I was in college. If you’ve noticed, I said I was going to have my book done… I’m not done yet.

the art of avoidance.

“When you try to do or be something, you can’t do it or be it. Because trying is not the same as being. Trying flies in a circle around the moment and being is inside of it. You must be.” – Augusten Burroughs Currently reading “This Is How” by Augusten Burroughs, one of my favorite authors. I’m pretty sure I enjoy reading him because he comes off somewhat narcissistically, and if I ever finished my book I’d probably come off narcissistically, too. That said, this book is self-helpy (which I’m like, HEY! MORE HELP!) and he – who is not a… I’m not done yet.

G’bye Cheetos.

Fridays are somewhat irrelevant to me since I work Saturdays as well, but there’s something automatically relaxing about knowing that the weekend is here. With everything that’s been going on, I figured tonight would be the perfect night to shut my brain down for a while. Last night, I started looking up vegetarian recipes. (From time to time, I consider going vegetarian. I have no real basis for it, just that sometimes eating meat weirds me out if it’s chewy or otherwise gross.) So I found a few, and then did the bravest thing I’ve done in a while: went to Whole Foods…. I’m not done yet.